In the name of honour...

What is this thing we call honour, well simply put it is an abstract concept, but drilling down to the base of it it is, the perceived worthiness and respectability that affects the social standing and self evaluation of an individual. People in certain societies are assigned stature based on the relationship between their actions with a specific code of honour and the moral code of the society at large. It is strange then to hear about these so- called honour killings, I am horrified that any society could let this happen, how does killing someone comply with the society's moral code?

Honour killing are not only confined to East Asia as it also occurs in countries such as Italy, Egypt, Syria, Jordon, France, German, the US and even in the UK, although they are not widely reported, so to get an accurate account would be difficult. Women are more vulnerable to fall victim to this as it can often be a way for men to control female sexuality in a culture that puts a greater value on honour that what is deemed to be right.

Honour Based Violence (HBV) can come in various forms but are equally shocking than the next. They include the following:

• Verbal threats








• Forced abortions








• Abduction








• Murder








• Sexual abuse








• Abandonment overseas








• Physical violence and








• Forced marriages

All of these can be seen as a way to control behaviour, to make a person do things that you want them to do. In essence it is a way of taking away an individuals free will and in turn their identity. And without identity who are we? As a society we have a responsibility to change things for the good of everyone.

Women and the media- Who's more guilty?

The portrayal of females in the media have an enormous affect on behaviour, such, as how they, dress, act, and interact with the world around them. Whether it is a good thing is another matter.

Women are historical seen as the nurturers and care givers, but film and other forms of media have changed, women have become more and more empowered. Empowerment is a way to introduce more gender equality in the workplace but also in society. The term media encompasses a wide range of tools, it can cover magazine, film and television, these all reach a huge audience and therefore can potentially change the way of how a lot of females perceive themselves in the wider community.

Women in film have changed dramatically over the last 10- 20 years, many more women are being considered for main roles in films now and the have a more central role to the plot of the film, whereas in times gone by they would have had a more peripheral role, now they are more in focus and play a more central role to the plot. Even though they have started to claw their way into the movie scene, they are still viewed as sexual objects, a kind of " eye candy" one could say. But even as I say this, Just by getting the main focus, women have the chance to change the way the world views the changing roles of women in film. Gandhi was once quoted as saying " you must be the change you want to see in the world". Meaning you all have the power to change your individual situations. Education is a primary tool,it doesn't have to be the traditional school education either, religious education, social education etc.

All of these are a way in which women can empower themselves and make educated and well thought out decisions on how they want to be perceived in the world. Magazine and TV are another form of media that are guilty of objectifying women. So often do I walk by a magazine with a half naked women on the cover , and I don't see that as showing off your beauty, all I see is an incredible insecure women and that she can only get any attention by stripping down. Also in many women's magazine there are articles dedicated to this season style and how you must have this to be popular and desired. What I do find even more insulting is the Boots adverts on TV that are more frequent around Christmas. If you dissect the advert it is basically saying that the only thing that concerns women are the way they look, and the only reason they want to look like this is to get attention,

Which brings me to another issue, the need for attention. Surely a grown women no longer requires the approval of other people to feel some kind of importance, but the sad thing is it's true, women in particular, still still work to get the approval of others. We all have the power to change these perceptions, that is if enough people want to we can change things,if we stop buying theses magazine and watching the shows we can make it clear that there's no longer a demand for them hence no profits will be made, they will have to change things, but only if enough people want the same thing.

To binge or not to binge...That is the million pound question?

Fridays are what every working individual will be looking forward to because they know that the weekend is not far behind. Does the weekend mean that you can put politeness and decency on hold? Does it give you the freedom to behave in a way you wouldn’t normally? For some women/ girls it is a resounding “yes”.
Women who stagger out of bars wearing what they think are mini dress but share a closer resemblance to belts, think they are just exercising their rights and claim that they are doing all this in the name of feminism; they don’t understand what feminism actually means. Feminism is a collection of movements defining, establishing and defending equal political, social rights and equally opportunities for women. To sum up, it is about gender equality and therefore it is relevant to men as well. In this basic interpretation, nowhere is it written that getting “wasted” every weekend and having casual sex is under the umbrella of feminism. Women often argue that if men do it why shouldn’t they, but what they have to try and realise is that just because men act like apes, is no excuse for you to act like apes, they should aim to rise above it- but they don’t.
Binge drinking amongst females have been on the rise, this can be attributed to the fact that women have more disposable income, which begs the question, if you have disposable income why must you dispose of it in one weekend? People often say they need to “cut loose”, but is this the only way to do that and is work that treacherous that you need to drink yourself into oblivion just to forget it?
The fact that many bars have deliberately discounted bottles of alcohol and have hours dedicated on getting “happy” doesn’t help with the increasing amounts of binge drinkers. More and more younger women are getting pulled into this culture and the few that refuse are often ostracised from their peer group and labelled as being anti- social, but tell me, what’s so great about not knowing where you are, not being able to stand on your own, urinating in the streets and having sex with strangers?! Women who put themselves in these kinds of situations are putting themselves in real danger, not only will they run the risk of suffering from alcohol related diseases but also of being sexually attacked- because let’s face it, there are some “unpleasant” people out there that will take advantage of the situation.
If that’s not enough to convince people to dial back their drinking habits, large amounts of alcohol can also artificially age you and for many women, their appearance is very important to them. The media also has a part to play in this, in recent times they have catered the advertised more appealing to women. For example in programmes such as “Sex and the City”, the main characters’ are never far from a bar and always seen to be drinking by midday, now what they neglect to show is them with their heads in the toilet and vomit on their Jimmy Choos.
If we have any hope of changing the attitudes of millions of young women, we should refrain from making it seem glamorous and show what can happen to your body and your finance, after all it’s not cheap and we are in a financial crisis, with the huge strain binge drinking is having on the NHS, it’s surprising that you still manage to find women urinating in the streets and stumbling out of bars.

An arrangement between two different worlds..

Marriage is supposed to be a joyous occasion, the union between two people is a beautiful thing to witness and should ultimately bring two families closer together. It would indicate that these two people are happy, have a lot in common and ultimately decided to spend the rest of their lives together.

Arranged marriages are a common practice amongst many Asian families and are somewhat misunderstood by the West, an arranged marriage is not all that different from the way most people do get married. It has all the same ingredients, essentially they should have things in common and ideally come from the same background, but forced marriages are becoming all to common. Where an arranged marriage is an arrangement between the two parties and is a common practice within culture that prohibits dating, a practice that is common amongst the west, a forced marriage is just that..it is forced upon that person against their will, usually through coercion or emotional blackmail. It is another form of abuse and just like abuse, it is often kept as a dark secret and no one is aware of it till it's to late.

Immigration is often the main reason behind it, and this has not only put on the families involved but also the British tax payer. This has brought the issue to the attention of the Prime Minister David Cameron. He has described the issue as " little more then slavery", which certainly gives an indication of the seriousness of the situation.

People shouldn't have to suffer in silence or to be forced to do anything agaist their will taking away their freewill, by taking away a person's free will you will in essence be taking away their identity and basic human rights.

Forced marriages are often thought of as a crime that only affects women, this is not true as it also affects men, 15% of forced marriage victims are men. Men who are gay are often afraid to tell their parents because of the shame it may bring to them and the family, and so they are forced to go through with it and live a false life and ultimately live a life of misery.

Being a girl= Second class citizen?

One would hope that everyone was treated as equals, with the same rights and privileges, but this is not always the case. Whether we admit it or not, people do assign certain " gender roles", where women are the home makers and care givers while the men go out to support the family and are the " breadwinner's". In certain culture this may be reinforced by words like " tradition" but it doesn't say that you can't evolve your thinking and adapt to situations, actually nearly all cultures encourage learning, tell me this how can a women improve her knowledge if she's not allowed to leave the house. The simple answer is that she can't. But you see it is not culture that enforces these stereotypes, it is the society we live in.

In some cultures they would even go as far as aborting female fetuses because in that society a girl baby is desired. This has become a common practice, as the technology has become more widely available to find out the sex of the child. In parts of India this would be used to perform " selective abortion" as a girl would be thought of as a burden and not being able to achieve as much as a boy. This is a cruel practice that has been banned, but as it is difficult to determine that this is the reason, it is still widely practice.In India doctors would advertise this technology as cost saving, they could save 50,00 rupees in dowry if it was a girl. This might feel as though it's not murder but it is just as vile, by thinking that having a girl would cost more is a inhumane way of raising a family.

Even in places where they do not have the technology to determine the sex of a child, once they find out that the child is female it will be killed. In some cases this will be ritualised. Female Infanticide is " the intentional killing of baby girls over the preference of baby boys".

This has lead to a population of far more boy to girls, and this situation is not restricted to India as some parts of China suffer with the same predicament, China has had a "one child pollicy" as they think this will help with overpopulation but as they also have a preference towards boy babies, this would often mean that the number os girl baabies being born would suffer. In January 2010 the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences (CASS) has forecasted that within a period of 10 years 1 in 5 men would find it hard to find a bride due to the alarming death rate in young women. This kind of mindset is not only found in poverty stricken parts of the world, as some of the more wealthier and more educated people still fall prey to the assumption that a boy has more value than a girl.

People's perceptions are what have to change, as it is their perception of girls that has been somewhat distorted. Education alone will not help if females are still restricted in certain aspects of their life, like the workplace.The workplace should take some responsibility for reducing a women's role as in the workplace a women is still worth significantly less than her male counterparts and there are fewer female managers that earn the same as the men.

Gender inequality is an historical issue and cannot be overcome overnight. But in order to change how the wider world looks at you, it may be far easier to start in your local community, it only takes a few like minded people to come together and change things for the good.

Domestic violence or abuse has broadly been defined as “a pattern of abusive behaviour by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or just the person you share the residence with” Abuse can come in many forms other than aggression, it can be done through threats, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, economic deprivation and though intimidation such as stalking. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of their cultural background, faith or even gender. Many men also suffer from domestic abuse but it is not widely reported due to the stigma that comes with being a victim.
One of the main problems with quantifying the amount of abuse out there is that not many people will come forward. Many people will either be in complete denial about what is happening to them or they will be ashamed to admit it and how this knowledge will make them look to the wider community. People in denial have usually had to suffer with it for a long period of time, so long in fact that it’s a normal part of their day to day activities.
89% of people who suffer from domestic violence are women; this huge percentage can be attributed to the fact that historically women are thought of as unequal to their male counter parts. Violence of any kind is condemned by society, yet it is an everyday occurrence for some people. Not only does this kind of abuse physically damaging but it can also be very damaging to the person’s perception of themselves, some people will start to believe they did something to deserve it, not realising that it is the other individual who is in the wrong.
People suffering from abuse will often start to feel very isolated and cut off from the rest of the world and just suffer in silence. For women who decide to speak up, the consequences can be just as worse, because more often than none their voices will be ignored, and that is why it is up to us, as a society to pay more attention and to take it seriously.

From the Beginning